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Writing by TwilightPoetess

Beautiful literature by Mrs-Freestar-Bul

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Submitted on
November 9, 2012
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1.3 KB
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If I press my ear against my arm I hear the metallic hum of white noise;
press it hard enough and it will buzz uninterrupted, the steady red
light of a cigarette that indicates she is watching you. I am here
to feel your eyes on me, the tingle in the center of your palm,

to tell you about the space between my words, of the space between us that becomes
so tempting to infuse with color, the red which runs beneath the bite of winter snow.

you drum the beat into your body because you cannot get enough. you love her
because your heart is not enough, because the stammer of your words will outdo
the finality of your hesitation and even the permanence of silence-

I am here,
I am here
I am here

to refrain from relative happiness- to feel the pleasure of thought running
through my mind; to develop a handwriting as cursive as my memory,
slanted as the sun. maybe I may be something other than what I say
at daybreak, what I will say breaking in the morning into day
like a pair of new shoes-  but now my thoughts are tangible
like the crisp weight of foreign bed sheets over skin.
Love is the unfamiliar Name
Behind the hands that wove
The intolerable shirt of flame
Which human power cannot remove.


certainly a little less choked-up than usual
in my opinion ...
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archelyxs Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
It's hard to describe but you have this clarity in your words, not just clarity but fullness, completeness, like you're holding the bag and you have shaken all its contents out, and the contents are these little houses that breathe your poems and communicate between themselves.
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
I hope they're houses with the lights on at the balconies in the dead of winter. Like the quiet perspective of lifting away you get from flying over a city at night.
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Yes, houses like those. Houses that are so far away but so close, at the tops of wooded hills, their yellow lights fussing with our planes of perception and becoming immediate.
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
Far enough away that you forget distance.... immediacy makes you forget. You couldn't have said it better. :rose:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Thanks! It's always a pleasant surprise when something I say makes sense...
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
Really lovely piece. :) I don't know why, but my favourite line is: to develop a handwriting as cursive as my memory; I just love the way it sounds. :D

One little thing I noticed, in the third stanza you've written: 'because your cannot get enough', but I'm guessing you mean 'you' rather than 'your'? :) Other than that I didn't notice anything wrong with this piece at all. I like the imagery throughout a lot; it feels like that weird, half asleep moment early in the morning when you just wake up.

Keep writing! :D
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   Writer
Thank you so much, you're very kind... and I'm very happy to hear, it is a line that sounds whole to me-

actually about the waking up, its quite funny that that is exactly the moment that I was trying to capture... except the moment right before falling asleep was what reminded me of it. Either way there is something I vaguely remember about writing a poem, or wanting to, about the six minutes of being at peace that we get before waking up fully.

TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
You're very welcome. :)

Well I think you definitely succeeded in your intention. :D
0hgravity Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lovely piece.

I like the repetition of I am here
and the stanza before that is actually my favorite of them.
hyperfluxy Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Writer
Ah, thank you so much. I am pretty sure i meant that to be the "telling" part of the thing, both figuratively and literally (as opposed to showing).
Glad that you picked it out!! :love:
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